I have recently embarked on the journey of self-publishing with no experience in marketing or social media beyond interaction mainly on Facebook with friends, family and a myriad of acquaintances. Two weeks on and I have reached saturation point with the people who know me who will buy it to be supportive. Despite the long hours on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, my blogs on my new website and WriteHere I am watching a dribble on the sales front. I have had some helpful advice from people in the industry, and I am endeavouring to pursue these lines. It is such a frustrating experience and not one I would recommend to someone who doesn’t love writing and when I say love that is exactly what I mean. If anyone thinks it is an easy option…write a few words and make a fortune then this clearly is not for you and you will get a rude awakening.

So all of that being said I have come up with an idea that I hope may prove popular, it springs from the Pay it Forward initiative that is going around Facebook to spread happiness and goodwill.

#Payitforward 4 #authors

The idea is that you post #Payitforward 4 #authors on your timeline with a link to your story on whatever social media you choose. The first person to respond agrees to buy your book, and you will buy theirs. You both read it in a timely fashion and leave honest reviews. You leave as many reviews as you can on as many different forms of social media as you would like them to do for you. This will mean that your name and your book is being passed around to people that you may not access normally. Hopefully, you will get a good review that will tempt people to buy rather than the relentless self-promotion that people retweet, share but don’t necessarily buy.

Please let me know whether you think this is a good idea and if you would be interested. If I get some positive responses to this, I will post #Payitforward 4 #authors with a link to my short story.
You can repeat this as many times as you want to.

I have been beating myself up each day to try and find something to say in my blog believing that it was beneficial that I post daily. Yesterday I caved in, under duress, due to a hectic schedule, sheer exhaustion and being in an environment where it wasn’t peaceful enough for me to think let alone write.

I have to thank Bryan Hutchinson https://twitter.com/ADDerWORLD for posting an article that made me realise that it isn’t the quantity that counts but the quality. Of course, I knew that quality counts…but somehow I got lost feeling the compulsion to post daily. I am now freed from the chains of daily blogs. I can relax and write when I have something to say. Pressure off whew!

There are times in our lives where we experience things that make us feel isolated and lonely, it feels as though life isn’t worth the effort. There is no magical light at the end of the tunnel there is just darkness. Maybe some days you paint on a smile to fool other people into believing that you are happy. You don’t want to hurt them by letting them in on the painful truth, or maybe you don’t want them to have to worry about you. There are only so many times that you can say the same thing to your loved ones. Maybe you feel that you have overburdened them, maybe they don’t know what to say to you anymore. Don’t give up trying because no matter how bleak it seems now, life is worth living, the battle may be hard, but you will overcome it, you will triumph. There are so many things that you can do, places to explore, experiences to be had.

If you read this and you know me, know I am always there for you. I will never tire of hearing what you have to tell me. I will never judge you or be impatient with you. I know what it feels like to feel that the fight is too much. I have also discovered many joyful experiences since then that I am so glad I got to see, feel, touch, hear. Just remember when you feel at your lowest that you have someone who wants to listen.

The recurrent thread, which has been running through my blog over the last few days, has been how precious life is. Today I feel the need to reiterate this. It was brought home all the more when I heard about the sad demise of an old school mate. He wasn’t old, the same age as I am. None of us know what is around the corner for us so we owe it to ourselves to make sure we live the life we want or at least be working towards it.

As a child, we have dreams and aspirations that we allow to fade as we get older and get bogged down by the daily grudge. We can’t all give up our 9-5 jobs, to chase the dream. We still need to eat, pay the mortgage/rent and bills, but we can use the downtime we have to our advantage. That is what I am doing now…I am eating, sleeping & breathing social media, #serious #social #media #overload. Let me clarify, social media isn’t my dream…but it is a necessary part of promoting my dreams. I have already achieved stage one of my dreams, seeing one of my stories published. What I am working towards now is trying to make it a success in terms of sales. I would also like to squeeze a bit more time out of my day in order to get back the part I love most…writing.
I know that it isn’t going to be an easy journey, I shall probably be the walking dead as I try to juggle all the balls in the air. Despite the exhaustion, I do feel more alive than I have in a long time.

I read something recently about what children really want for Christmas. From Santa, they want presents, but from their parents, they really want their time. That doesn’t mean they don’t want gifts too, so this isn’t an excuse to buy them nothing this year!

It got me thinking though, especially when I received a message from my nephew today. He will be turning 18 years old in March and for as long as I can remember he hasn’t received a physical birthday or Christmas present from me. It must have been about eight or nine years ago that I took him to a gig as a present, a band he liked (I shan’t admit on here who they were). Every year since then we have done something together. My nieces asked me when they could have “Auntie Mia days” so as soon as they were old enough we too spent time going out to places together, experiencing new things. These are always on a one-to-one basis, so we get quality time together.

We’ve been ice-skating, water parks, wandering around castles, dinosaur experiences, shopping, Paris, Dolphin experience and many more, too numerous to mention. At Christmas, we all go together to the Panto in Richmond. The time, we spend together, is precious for not only me but for them too. Each year they know that they have the chance to opt out, but they choose our time together. In the early years, we wrote silly poems or songs together about our day, some of which we still have

My nephew messaged me today with an idea for his “Auntie Mia day.” I am a very lucky person to have such wonderful nieces and nephews and to be able to build precious memories with them. The time, they are children, is short, we think we have a lifetime, but we don’t. You will never regret a present you didn’t buy for them, but you will regret time not spent. If you want a great example of this, listen to “Cats in the Cradle,” by Ugly Kid Joe.

Sometimes we can feel hurt by the things that the people we care about say to us. We feel slighted because someone didn’t say something or forgot to do something, which can so easily lead to resentment and anger. Is it worth the upset it causes you to hold onto this? Sometimes for the good of the relationship you just have to allow it to wash over you and not allow it to cause a rift. Even if this means that you make the step towards reconciliation when you don’t believe you are in the wrong.

The truth is we are all living our own rather complicated lives and sometimes we are so caught up with it that we don’t think about the others around us and their expectations of us. Sometimes our words come out without thought as to how it will be interpreted. The thing, I have learnt, is that we all process things differently, sometimes that is the difference between male and female but not always. So when someone has said something to you that upsets you, take a step back. Is this person a friend, a loved one? They are generally not setting out to hurt us so it’s worth thinking about the way they may have used those words as opposed to the way you have heard them. If you have a certain insecurity, then you may link those words to you as a criticism when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

If the person is setting out to upset or hurt you then maybe you need to consider whether they are worth having in your life. I mentioned before in a previous blog that life is the most precious gift that we are given. Only we can allow the words and actions of others to control our emotions. This isn’t something that is easy, it certainly isn’t something that I have nailed yet. I am working towards this, and I know when I have reached that state I will be a much happier, fulfilled person.

I won’t pretend that I have taken the world of self-publishing by storm. It would have been a fatal naivety on my behalf to have assumed that would happen in one week, and I would like to think I am realistic enough not to have believed that. I must hold my hands up though to not understanding how much was involved, and that is wholly due to not doing my research first.

Since the publication though I have been working tirelessly. I have also been lucky enough to have made some connections with some extremely helpful people who have given me snippets of advice that I am now working on. Every time I go onto the internet though I seem to pass countless hours, but I can’t call them fruitless. Each new thing goes towards creating my brand, and it is this which will help me create a successful career in writing. I think it would be useful to imagine the process as a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, and I have only pieced together the outside so far.

I have four great reviews, one described it as, ” A modern take on Sleeping Beauty… with a difference.” I have to admit to feeling quite put out that I didn’t think of that myself. In all seriousness, though I can honestly say, I am very happy with all the comments and the continued support from friends and family.

Someone I know recently sent me a text quoting some words that she had read once, “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” I think these are very wise words.

We can all get stuck in a certain pattern in life, creating routines, which makes us feel safe and protected. I know that everyone is different and while some people crave excitement and adventure other people are happy with a more peaceful, sedate pace of life.

Ask yourself though are you in that safe routine because that is what you want to do? Are you happy…truly happy doing the same thing day after day, seeing the same things, experiencing only that which makes you feel protected?

If the answer is no you are not truly happy, then you are merely existing, getting through each day only to face the next one with a sigh and a heavy heart. Life is one of the most precious gifts we have been given, and I think we owe it to ourselves to find a way of living it. For each person that may be different as we all have our dreams and aspirations but to be true to ourselves we have to find a way of making at least some if not all of them come true.

Think about what you do want, what you want to achieve and ask yourself how you can make that happen. These changes may not necessarily be dramatic or huge they just need to make you feel alive…live don’t exist.
Don’t make your last thoughts, “I wish I had.”

I’m going to go completely off theme today and not talk about my short story or the promotion side of things and take a look at another thing dear to my heart.

I have always at heart been a rock chick, leather and bikes. The reality is I wear textiles, hi-viz and ride a 125cc scooter (a temporary measure- over four years so far but who’s counting!).

Every day I go onto that road I have someone cut me up, not notice me (despite the sexy hi-viz) or think that I should ride at the side of the road as a cyclist. Guys my bike has an engine. On A & B roads, I can keep up with you and the flow of traffic. You have no need to rush to get in front of me or to try to bully me to the side of the road. (Stubborn as hell – I will not move!) If you meet me on a motorway with my L plates, then I can understand your desire to get past me but the truth is I am not allowed on them so you won’t see me there.

I’m riding down a side road: I leave room between the parked cars and me because if I don’t and they open their doors without looking. I’m going to wear that window as a necklace…a very unflattering one. May mean the end of me! So please stop trying to bully me across the road, slow down, maybe we can share that space.

You’re coming out of a side road; you have a give way sign. I’m coming down the main road and have priority. Look and look again…pulling out without looking is not smart and not cool. I have a son, a mum and dad, brother, sister, three nieces and a nephew, lots of extended family and friends. They all care that you are pulling out of that road without looking or thinking “Hey it’s just a bike, they don’t go fast!” Think of them if you can’t think of me.

I’m riding along the road, you are following behind me, please give me some space. If I have to brake suddenly, you may get a dent on your bumper…I may not make it!

Adverse weather conditions, it’s raining, you are dry, I’m getting wet. You have windscreen wipers, I have to wait until it is safe to wipe my visor or when I pull up at traffic lights…my visibility may be awful. It will take me longer to stop in those conditions. I will leave a bigger gap between me and the vehicle in front in case I need to brake suddenly that is because I have judged my braking distance so stop trying to bully me into going faster. The extreme wind can take me out of my lane into the next one, if I slow down its because I need to do this for my safety…don’t bully me. If you want to overtake me do it safely, give enough room, don’t skim along the side of me.

When there is traffic, I do filter. I do it slowly and safely, I know this must be frustrating for you as you sit in your warm car because you are stuck. I may be getting wet as mentioned before visibility really bad. I may be freezing cold despite all the layers and biker gear; my fingers inside my biker gloves may start to lose all sensations soon. It may be hot, the sun is beating down on me, I have my biker gear on, so I am melting. I could choose not to wear it but if I come off my bike I lose layers of skin and maybe bone so not really a choice for me. So do you really begrudge me the ability to filter through the traffic? Do you really need to move over specifically to block my way?

There are many hazards on the road that you don’t need to worry about in a car. I may slow down because I see something that may be potentially hazardous to me…is that a reason for you to get angry and tailgate me? Grit and stones dropped by the builders could take me out, a wet drain cover or white lines on the road. I am continually making decisions on what is safe for me…all, I ask, is that you consider bikers and stop bullying them. One day you might take one out…it might be me.

My brain is buzzing…there is so much to take in. It is less than a week since I published “As Dreams Are Made On.” I have set up this website, very basic at the moment with not a huge content, but it is growing. After battering my head repeatedly against a brick wall, yesterday I worked out how to configure a part of it. It is starting to look a bit more how I wanted it to; an achievement for someone with very basic knowledge in this area. I am going to give myself a huge pat on the back! I have tripled my followers on Twitter, if I could triple my sales I would be really happy…for the time being anyway! Never satisfied for long…always reaching for that next milestone…but hey that’s what life is about, isn’t it?

Next step is to set up another Facebook account, a public one…in case I get a public and to stop my friends from un-friending me as I bombard my page with personal promotion. I may well have to be the person who invents a longer day…yeah okay maybe sleep less instead. It is incredible how much time disappears in the social network stratosphere, time that was previously wasted in watching television. Added to that though are the breakfast tweets, lunchtime tweets and blogs, evening tweets, lying in bed tweets…you get the picture?

On the upside, I feel more alive than I have in a long time…though it may all catch up with me at once. I think I will need to take a short(ish) break in the Caribbean to recover at some point. 😉