I had decided on this blog thinking I was writing about jealousy only with envy being a synonym but after doing some research I discovered something I hadn’t known which is that jealousy and envy are considered to be different.
Jealousy: feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.
Envy: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.
The dictionary would suggest that both these emotions are the same but some psychologists differentiate between the two emotions:
Jealousy is relationship based and involves a third person. It’s an emotion that makes a person fear for their relationship with another – partner, parent, friend etc… The person sees a threat to their relationship which could be real or perceived.
Example: Your husband has a female friend and you see that friendship in a different light. It could be a simply platonic relationship but it could also be an affair which threatens the fabric of your marriage. Jealously has its roots firmly in both the logical and illogical camps.
Jealousy can be healthy, in that it produces that fear which makes you work at protecting your relationship but equally it can be a destructive force eating away at you from the inside and ruining your relationship.
Finding the right balance is the key.
Envy however is an emotion that is caused between two people only.
Example: You are envious of what your friend has, possessions or life.
Again this emotion can be put to good or bad use. If you use this to better yourself and achieve the goals you have then this has been for the force of good, however if you allow this envy to fester you can become dissatisfied with your lot in life and your friendship will suffer as you become resentful.
Finding the right balance is again key.
I try to avoid the extremes of both of these emotions as they can be so destructive, you should allow them to drive you not to overwhelm you.
I chose this as a subject matter as some of the characters in my books show these emotions which makes for great reading. I have three examples from two of my books – please read on:
A Lifetime or a Season
Amazon link: http://mybook.to/A-lifetime
Diana is envious of her young daughter Athena, who is pretty and has her whole life ahead of her. Diana is a beautiful, superficial, selfish woman who has men flocking around her and has no shortage of admirers but she knows that the passage of time is upon her so she callously puts down and undermines her daughter so that Athena sees herself as plain. Diana tries to stamp out Athena’s spark of independence wanting her daughter to fawn over her rather than live her own life.
Check out Athena’s short story to see whether Diana was successful or not.
A Boy from the Streets has two examples of jealousy.
Amazon Link: myBook.to/BoyfromStreets
Teo is a lovely, loyal man who is eaten up with jealousy. He is devoted to his friend Leandro but Leandro has a closer bond with Daniel. Even years of separation doesn’t dim this friendship but as the year go by Teo’s jealousy develops to the point where he places himself and others in danger. Will his jealousy lead him to commit the ultimate betrayal?
Pedro is a young boy who is abandoned to the streets of Brasil at the age of one year. His life is harrowing and filled with the horrors that life on the streets brings including being used by the corrupt police force who should be there to protect him.
At the age of twelve he discovers that he has a twin, Jose was adopted into a life of luxury.
Pedro experiences both jealousy and envy during the coming months but despite his life and the trials and tribulations he stays grounded. His own caring nature allows him to rise above these emotions – but when he is pushed to the ultimate level will he be able to keep his head or will it overwhelm him?
If you want to discover how any of my characters cope with these emotions and what the future holds for them you can find out by clicking the links and reading their stories.
I look forward to hearing back from you.