Books, Life, Self-publishing, Uncategorized

What you see isn’t always what you get.

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We’re complex creatures, hiding a multitude of emotions. Some people wear their emotions on their sleeve, their eyes and faces expressing everything they’re feeling, leaving you in no doubt when they are angry or upset. I’m like that but when I’m working I have to retrain my brain in order that clients don’t see when I think they’re cretins, and believe me that’s not always easy.

For some people, though they successfully mask their feelings without having to try and whether that is a skill learnt or an ability to distance themselves from emotions is hard to say.

We spend our lives judging people on what they wear, how they look, or the attitude they portray to the world, but we only know what goes on in the minds of those we are closest to. What does that smile, that frown, that withering look hide? Maybe, it is simply what it appears to be. Maybe the smile is a person who views the world and everything in it positively, at all times. Are they naïve or are the rest of us slightly jaded? Just because they show you a smile doesn’t mean though that they don’t hurt when you say something cruel. That person who is walking in with the frown, are they angry or maybe they are just so caught up with their own thoughts, overworked, family stresses, that frown may not be aimed at you. The withering look, oh but don’t you just want to slap that face? But consider for one moment, maybe there is something going on underneath it. It doesn’t make it acceptable but sometimes people are going through so much that they can’t/don’t know how to behave in a courteous manner and they should be pitied. This is about them, not you. If you can remember that, which I don’t suggest is easy, then you will be better for it. My point isn’t that unacceptable behaviour becomes acceptable because someone might be going through hell in their personal or work life but maybe its something to be thrown into the equation.


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In ‘Is this Love?’ one of the supporting characters, Jake, blots out emotions because of abuse suffered in his childhood. He’s one of those characters you want to dislike because he’s obnoxious and charming at the same time. If you’re anything like me, you won’t be able to help being pulled in by the side of his character that he hides from most people.

Jake, inadvertently, forms a friendship with the male lead, Theo, and this is what he sees as a weakness. Jake doesn’t want to form strong ties because it opens him up to feel, and feelings make you vulnerable. He uses women as sexual objects, unable to recognise that they aren’t responsible for his abandonment by his own mother. Jake’s strengths start to come to the fore in the second half of this book and that personal development grows in book two where he forced me to make him one of the main characters with his own POV. On the surface, he isn’t pleasant but when you scratch the surface someone else appears, a man who has been hurt and abused but a spark of humanity is kindled by his friendship with Theo, but it takes a chain of events of bigger magnitude for him to really come into his own.

Do you want a sneak peek at Jake’s profile?

Continue reading “What you see isn’t always what you get.”

Books, Life, Self-publishing, Uncategorized

Fear

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Fear is something each and every one of us has experienced at some point in our lives whether it be a rational fear which is an appropriate response to a real situation or a perceived threat or an irrational fear or phobia.

What triggers fear?

Rational fear can be a natural response to a situation which threatens danger or a response to a horrible experience. The basis of an irrational fear is a lot harder to pinpoint but it could be a learnt behaviour seen by a parent or someone else, it can be a response to a bad dream which has carried over into real life.

What symptoms are produced through fear?

Increased breathing rate or hyperventilation

Muscle tension

Goosebumps

Sweating or dry palms

Nausea or knot in the base of your stomach

What do  I fear?

I fear losing those people who are closest to me, my loved ones. I fear for the future of some people I love who fate hasn’t dealt a fair hand to. These fears are all manageable and only affect me when I dwell too much on them.


I regularly feel fear when I ride my motorbike especially in my area where the road users have no idea of road craft and many assume a motorcyclist should ride next to the pavement as a cyclist does. Not a brainy bunch around here! Many road users deem themselves to have more skills than they actually possess or more frighteningly consider my life inconsequential, either way they put me in danger and a number of times it has only been my own forward planning and quick reactions that have saved my life. The fear that comes from that situation is immense. There are particular roads that now cause a reaction of extreme caution in me now because of regular occurrences so fear is adapting the way I tackle certain areas on the road.

Phobia’s, oh yes I have them too. Spiders, cockroaches, rodents and heights – or at least heights where I don’t feel secure. For example I love flying, even loved being in a helicopter looking down but if I’m anywhere where I feel I could fall then the major fear kicks in. Where did they come from? I honestly don’t know!

What made me choose fear as the topic for this blog?

I am about to start writing a new book based on a boy called Carlos who featured in my last book, “A Boy from the Streets”. Carlos wasn’t a main character but he seems to have got into my head and is demanding I write his story now. I’m not going to say too much as I don’t want to give anything away.
Carlos is a young boy who ended up living on the streets after his parents died and his maternal uncle decided he didn’t want another mouth to feed. While Carlos is on the streets something happens to him and Carlos is now stalked by fear. This is a real fear of something happening which has its roots firmly in the incident from his past. Can he get past his fear to enable him to live a full life?

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Excerpt taken from: A Boy from the Streets.

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Fear can be debilitating and not easy to overcome, so remember to be kind to your fellow humans, you don’t know what they’re dealing with or what scars they carry.