Category: Life

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Work/Life balance

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Does it exist? It would seem to me that the scales tip firmly on the side of work – so where is the balance?

Work takes up the majority of our working hours but it seems that employers are taking up more of our leisure time as working hours and stress levels increase. Where does that leave downtime? I can tell you that is doesn’t. We’re so caught up on this endless treadmill of trying to earn a living to put a roof over our heads, pay the bills, support a family etc… that we end up spending so much time at work to pay for it all. When you get home, chores, eating and head to bed so that you can face the next day. Weekends are the time you catch up on chores and can maybe indulge a little in whatever passes for leisure for you. Then on a Monday morning, barely refreshed we step back onto that treadmill of life again.

Many years ago my brother said, “You either work to live or live to work. ” this has always resonated with me. I don’t live to work. Don’t get me wrong, I have to work and I want to enjoy what I do. I have a strong work ethic and believe in giving my all to work, but all that results in is burn out. Over the last few years, I’ve experienced and heard more and more about horrendous work conditions. Now bearing in mind that maybe 50% of the population (this is a guess – see the maybe!) work to live then how have we allowed ourselves to end up in places that tear at our sanity, rob us of our sleep and make us dread going to work? Now I’m not suggesting that everyone experiences this, for all those people who love/like/enjoy going to work, I’m very pleased for you – that is how it should be.

Now, this really isn’t just a post about personal experience, this is something I’ve been hearing from people around me. Some very capable people, who work hard are being undermined, bosses, managers are chipping away at people’s self-confidence. I hear you say, well why do you stay? Good point. Except when they leave they find themselves in a similar situation in another company.

Why are things so dire? Have they always been that bad? Or as we get older do we struggle to deal with it? Are we worn out by it all?

I’m 44 years old and I know that I can’t take another 20 years of this but I have a plan for an exit strategy, which is a few years down the line but maybe not quite 20. My intention is to eventually be able to give up full-time work and live off what I earn from my writing. A long way off as I might have already mentioned. But with this in mind I have to spend a lot of my spare time writing, this is no hardship as I love writing, which brings me back to my earlier point of having fewer leisure hours in which to do it. Now let’s add into the mix, lack of sleep, messed up mind and inability to switch off from a demanding job and you can see what a challenge I have set myself.

“Take Care Of Your Employees And They’ll Take Care Of Your Business,” Says Richard Branson, Founder Of The Virgin Group.

Check this out 

ACAS: “Look after your staff and they’ll take care of the rest”

Check this out

ACAS has even published a guide on how to get the right balance to look after staff.

It isn’t just me saying it: when the leading employment law specialists and a man as successful as Richard Branson are recognising the importance of a good workforce and looking after them, why is it so hard for employers to do it?

If you compare yourself to a rechargeable battery for a moment (go with me) and you keep running that battery to empty and then put it on change for the bare minimum of time, you’ll only get the bare minimum back. If, however, you keep that battery topped up you get the best from it. (You see where I went with that?) Workplace empowerment creates a good environment where staff want to strive to be the best. Constant pressure and micromanagement create a stressed workforce who try to do their best under trying circumstances but invariably they burn out. We spend the best parts of our days at work, we should be able to feel safe there.

If you are a manager/boss and you’re reading this, think about this truth: People rarely leave their job, they leave their boss. Empower your staff don’t drain them.

Leaving you with one small thought: If 15,000 people picked up a copy of one of my novels, I could give up working for a year.

If 30,000 people did – I’d have two years grace.

If that were to happen I could leave my stressful work environment behind and write full-time.

Let’s get this trending #helpMariagiveupwork 😉

If you’re tempted in the US:

If you’re tempted in the UK:

 

I’d love to hear back from you on the following.

Do you live to work or work to live?

What are your experiences in the workplace, good or bad? Feel free to share experiences.

 

 

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Books · Life · Self-publishing · Uncategorized

Round-up of the week:

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globe-1290378_640News from around the world

A couple in Kuwait was sentenced to death for killing a Filipina maid. A Lebanese man and his Syrian wife were convicted in absentia. The body of the maid was dumped in a freezer in their abandoned apartment and it was discovered over a year after the murder.

London.jpgNews from London

A paralysed man is hoping to become the first paraplegic male to walk the London Marathon. Simon Kindleysides, 34, from Norwich, was diagnosed with a brain rumour which left him paralysed from the waist down. It will take Simon, 37 hours to complete the course wearing an exoskeleton suit.

What an inspirational man.

Me.1.jpgMy News

Work has been busy and has seen me at two different sites with two different sets of challenges.

My son came home for Easter on Good Friday and will be going home Easter Monday. We went out for a meal with my parents and my sister and niece on Saturday and on Sunday went to Mum and Dad’s for dinner, spending some time with my brother and nephew.

It has been a lovely chilled out weekend.

My sister and I have finally signed up for the half-marathon that we’ve been talking about for the last couple of months. Training to start in earnest now. It won’t be until September, so enough time to do this sensibly.

I’ve been working at challenging a particular fear of mine this week. I have a fear of going around the Hammersmith Roundabout and this week I did it, twice. I won’t say I’m not scared still but I did feel an amazement sense of achievement and if I continue to do it this will be one fear I can say goodbye to.

Me.2Writing News

Sent out March’s newsletter with a sneak preview of my new cover for Sins of the Father which everyone else can see shortly.

I’ve spent my free time working on the edits on Sins, I have reached 68/122.

 

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My Review of “The Debt & the Doormat” by Laura Barnard

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I’ve had this book on my kindle for a while now, my TBR list is immense. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I dipped into this book but I got more than I bargained for. Poppy and Jazz are best friends, they know each other inside out and back to front as good friends do. But therein lies the only similarity between them. Poppy is clumsy and has given up on life after a disastrous relationship, she reclines in life like an old-fashioned heroine from a bygone age would on chaise longue. Jazz, on the other hand, is the rich daughter of a now dead millionaire who made his fortune in the porn industry. She wears revealing clothes but has the freedom of a hippy at heart. On a drunken night in they decide to swap lives and that is where the fun starts.

Poppy can’t help but do everything wrong, she falls flat on her face, she makes plans to help people that backfires spectacularly and she has a pushy mum into the bargain. I laughed out loud on the London Underground because of this book, I also cried in public (think I might have been hormonal at the time!). I rated this book so highly that I rushed out and bought the next book in the series and read that straight away too.

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My review of Bankers Town by Joel Hames

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This is the second book I’ve read by Joel Hames and once again I devoured it. The story does dip in and out of the present and the past and if you don’t like that style of writing then this book is now for you, but I love it. I like to see how the threads of the story weave together, and this book did that well. I love the author’s tone of voice, it’s an open and honest dialogue which you can relate to.

If you’re looking for a fast pace of action, this book doesn’t have it but it builds layer upon layer of information, drawing you in with each new nugget. It’s cleverly written, the characters are strong. I will be reading more by Joel Hames.

Pick up your copy of Bankers Town here

Books · Life · Self-publishing · Uncategorized

Round-up of the Week

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News from around the world

Bono, U2 singer has apologised after claims of bullying and abuse emerged at One, the charity he co-founded.

An allegation was made that one female worker was demoted after refusing to become intimate with a foreign governmental official.

News from London

Liz Hurley’s 21-year-old nephew is in hospital after being stabbed repeatedly in the back in a brutal attack in south-west London. Police were called on Thursday to a street, near Battersea Park.

My News

Another busy week has seen me moving from site to site and seeing different views and meeting a diverse spectrum of people.

My living room is a step closer to being finished as the new carpet was laid yesterday. It’s looking fabulous and is so silky that I make any excuse to get my socks off and walk across it.

Twenty-one years ago today my nephew and Godson Joseph was born so we had a civilised family get together. For his present we’ll be going to a gig, not sure which one yet. Many years ago I started a tradition, which became known as Auntie Mia days, so instead of a present we go somewhere, my nieces and nephew have always known they can opt out and go back to presents. So far, Joseph still wants quality time with me and because of his interest in music, it is always a gig.

Started reading Sugar and Spice by RE Hargrave and so far, I’m loving it.

Writing News

Again another pitiful amount of writing done. I’m feeling very drained at the moment which is killing my creative streak. Sins of the Father is still with the editor and so far so good.

Life · Uncategorized

Monday Chuckles

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I have started this fortnightly blog slot which I’ve called chuckles due to popular demand. A lot of these funnies have been emailed to me through the years and they’ve sat in my inbox. Occasionally I’ve shared them on Facebook and I’ve had a great response. People have told me how much they’ve brightened their day. It was suggested that I blog them so I am. Please note there is no offence meant in any of these jokes, if you take offence then that is because of your outlook, not mine. All I want is to make people laugh, I will never post anything that I think victimises anyone.

 

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found
 that she had locked her keys inside.

The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.
   She looked at it and said, “I don’t know how to use this.”

She bowed her head and asked God to send her some HELP.

Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up,
   driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.

He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
   She said: “Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car.

I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”
   He said, “Sure.”

He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.

She hugged the man and through tears said, “Thank You, God, for sending me such a very nice man.”
   The man heard her little prayer and replied,

“Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday;
    I was in prison for car theft.” The woman hugged the man again,
  sobbing, “Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional!”

Six retired Jewish mates were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, “So, who’s gonna tell his wife?”

They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse.

“Discreet? I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.”

Goldberg goes over to the Meyer’s condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?

Goldberg declares: “Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home.”

“Tell him to drop dead!” yells the wife.

“I’ll go tell him.” says Goldberg.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.’

The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’

The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’

‘Do you mean a rose?’

‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, “Honey, would you have sex with me?

“
Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” he asks, grinning at her.

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on! There’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”

“No way. It’s just too risky!”

“Oh please, please, I love you so much!”

“No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!”

“Oh yes you can. Please?”

“No, no. I just can’t”

.

”I’m begging you…”

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s older sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice, she says: “Dad says to go ahead and have sex with him, or I can do it… or if need be mom says she can come down herself and do it.

 But for God’s sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom!”

 

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Round-up of the Week

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News from around the world

Mexican authorities have launched criminal proceedings against four police officers over the disappearance of three Italian men. The men were last seen at the end of January in Tecalitlán, in the western state of Jalisco. The officers had allegedly arrested them at a petrol station and they have confessed to handing the Italians over to a local criminal gang.

Makes me glad I live in the UK.

News from London

A gas explosion at a property in north-east London forced about 100 people to have to leave their homes. No injuries have been reported.

My News

We saw snow this week, not major amounts here in London but enough to ensure that I wasn’t going to risk riding my motorbike so I trudged through the snow, ice and slush to get to work. Tuesday saw me viewing the snow from central London and the next day from the cab of an 18-tonne truck as I waited for the driver to offload 5 pallets of salt on site. I did end up with black marks all over my tights lol.

On Thursday I was supposed to see my son who was due to come down from Lincolnshire for his birthday but he was snowed in.

I’ve almost finished decorating my living room and picked out a new carpet and sofa over the weekend. I also put my old sofa up for sale on Gumtree and had someone attempt to scam me with a fake Paypal payment.

Today I met up with the family for a meal to celebrate my parents’ 53rd wedding anniversary. We went to a local restaurant where we proceeded to take pano pictures on our phones of the family making each other look horrendous into the bargain, my sister ended up looking like Nanny McPhee without warts. Needless to say, she reciprocated with an equally unflattering one of me.

I finished reading Christmas in Holly Springs by Rose Castro this week, a lovely short story. Watch out for the review, coming shortly.

Writing News

My editor has started work on Sins of the Father and I’ve heard from her that she is liking it so far. Phew.

I’ve been working on Illicit Love again and getting very excited about where it’s going.

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Unscrupulous people

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All week I have been trying to find a topic for the blog this weekend and then something happened on Thursday evening which I realised today would make a good post.

This week I had someone attempt to scam me. This person replied to an advert I’d posted as I was selling a sofa. She was keen and told me that because of health issues she couldn’t leave the house so would arrange for a courier to pick it up and would pay me via Paypal. She asked me to send me a few more pictures. Happy with the pictures she asked for my PayPal details and sent me a payment. My alarm bells started to ring when I saw the email from Paypal with over double that amount. I contacted her, to give her the benefit of doubt to ask why she had paid so much and why I was being asked to pay £98.00 to the Western Union, the money was apparently on hold until I’d paid. She replied to say that the courier was insisting that she pay upfront through the Western Union and due to her health issues couldn’t get out to pay it – so she had put in extra so I can pay it online. Do I look stupid? I send the fake Paypal email to spoof@paypal.co.uk and to the online fraud squad and told her in no uncertain terms what I thought of her.

I can’t understand how people can try to cheat people or use other people for their own use. I happen to believe that you should always treat people as you would want to be treated but for some people there doesn’t seem to be any consideration for how another would feel as a consequence of their actions.

 

Claudine, is one of the characters in my book Is this Love? is an extremely selfish woman who is only concerned with herself and uses people in order to get what she wants. Her ruthlessness sets off a train of events which has a ripple over the lives of many people. This is a character that I can’t find it in myself to like no matter how much I try.

Is this Love? starts with Claudine Beecham dumping our male lead Theo who is frankly rather relieved when he gets over his initial shock but yet a few days later she worms her way back into his life. Claudine is a cold woman, who is driven by materialistic values. Theo against his better judgement gets back with her, convincing himself that he can make it work, even if he can’t convince the people around him. Eventually, Theo realises that not only can he not cope with the relationship but he actually can’t stand the woman but before he can make a break she springs a shock on him that changes his life. But her deception doesn’t stop there, and her lies almost destroy Theo.

Check out this short excerpt from Theo’s perspective:

When Claudine arrived, I took her straight to my room to guard my privacy. That was my second mistake of the night and as I was about to discover, mistakes, like everything else, come in threes. Claudine greeted me with a hug.

“I’ve missed you terribly,” she crooned into my ear in a crude attempt at seductiveness.

I pulled back, “It’s only been a weekend.”

“Enough time for you to hook up with a tart,” Claudine bit out; her tone dripping acid.

I rushed to Gemma’s defence, “She’s not a tart but I fail to see what business it is of yours.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that, I’m just jealous.”

     What is going on here?

“Theo, I made the biggest mistake of my life.”

I regarded at this woman who I’d spent the last two years with. I did still retain a soupçon of affection for her. She threw herself into my arms, clinging to me with tears in her eyes. Vulnerable and whispering “I love you Theo.” I still had no intention of changing my mind. Her lips pressed against a sensitive area on my neck, which never failed to elicit a response. She rubbed her warm, soft body against me and God help me, but I’m a man and my body responded automatically. My third mistake was only recognised as such when two sated, sweat-soaked bodies pulled apart to lie back. It was then that my brain kicked in, pissed off at the malfunction created when my cock had pressed the override button, which could have averted this disaster.

She clung to me like an octopus, arms thrown over my naked chest, legs wound around mine, anchoring me in place.

“Thank you for giving me another chance,” she purred and gave me with her most dazzling smile.

Tell her! The voice screamed inside my head. How can he? How about this? ‘Claudine, the sex was good but…or better still, sex was mediocre but it doesn’t mean we’re back on.’ See how easy that was?

I couldn’t be so callous. No doubt Jake and Cass would despair of me, sometimes I despaired of myself. I had no choice. I had to forget about sex with the gorgeous blonde with legs that went on forever and just get on with things as they were.

Thus began my fourth mistake and as they go in threes, it was reasonable to expect two more.

JPG Kindle Cover

Click here to pick up a copy of Is this Love?

Do you want a sneak peek at Claudine’s profile?

Continue reading “Unscrupulous people” →

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Round-up of the Week

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News from around the world

China’s governing Communist Party has proposed removing a clause in the constitution which limits presidencies to two five-year terms. This is in an attempt to allow the current President Xi Jinping to remain as leader after he is due to step down.

News from London

A Letter containing a substance sent to St. James’s Palace is being treated as a ‘racist hate crime”. The substance was tested by the Met Police and was found not to be harmful. The letter is said to have been addressed to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

My News

I have finally finished decoration my living room at home, which has taken quite a while being a weekend only job. I now need to replace the carpet and furniture but really pleased with how it’s looking so far.

Writing News

This week I’ve focused on the last minute tighten up of Sins of the Father which is due to head to the editor on Thursday which will be a nail-biting experience. I even managed to get a newsletter out for the first time in about 5 months.

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Spotlight of the month – Audrina Lane

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Audrina Lane

1. Do you write as a full-time author or do you have to squeeze it in around a full-time job or looking after the children? If you don’t write as your main job what are your aims for your writing?

I somehow squeeze my writing in around my full-time job working for the Library Service in Herefordshire. I’m sometimes not sure where I find the extra time but I can be found writing on the bus on my way to work or during my lunchtime. My aims for my writing are to continue working on my current 3 WIP novels. Hoping to get them all out at some point in 2018.

2. What inspires you to write?

I tend to write everyday type of characters who are either experiencing love for the first or second time around. Or equally about them battling their demons, such as abuse or depression – powerful; topics. On a lighter note, I also love motor racing so one of my recent novels and one of my WIP novels is based around the world of fast cars!

 

3. Tell me about your writing process, when and how? Are you a plotter or a pantser?

I used to use an ipad but have recently switched to a Surface Pro which is both a tablet and laptop when the keyboard is attached. This means that I can carry it around with me and write whenever I find I have 20 minutes to spare. It also means I can write on my lap in the evening in front of the fire. I try and do a little bit each day but longer periods of writing take place at the weekend when I’m not at work! I’m afraid I’m mostly a pantser and just let my character guide me but I generally start out with a basic storyline in my head.

4. How much of your life experience goes into your books if at all?

With my first novel ‘Where did your Heart go?’ the storyline is based on my first love affair, with a few embellishments. But the first kiss for my main characters Stephanie and James was my actual first kiss. I did contact my first boyfriend and asked him if he was happy with the book content and he was kind enough to write the first review I had for the book on Amazon! I do try to draw from life experience because I think it gives the characters more depth and the storyline more meaning.

5. Describe your ideal writing location if money were no issue.

My ideal writing location would be outside my private home on my own island off the coast of New Zealand. I’d be on a lounger next to my swimming pool.

6. What is the hardest part of the writing process for you?

With my current final book in the Bloodstained Heart Trilogy its making sure that I stick to the storyline and conversations in the Heart Trilogy series (it’s a series about one of the characters in my original series) so I need to make sure the timeline stays the same but I bring a different slant to the same scenes. This makes it harder than just writing straight from your head. Also editing!!

 7. What one thing would you fix about the whole world to make it a better place?

Religion, I believe what I believe but don’t push it on anyone and truly think that most of the world’s wars and conflicts are because people have different beliefs and think that theirs is better than the others. That’s about as political as I get in that if we got rid of religion maybe we’d all live more peacefully – although probably not!! There would always be something I guess!

 8. What is your favourite review from any of your books?

This one for Bloodstained Heart. Part 1 – Passion. Because I knew I’d captured the essence of Felicity and equally made the reader feel sorry for her when everyone of my readers who urged me to write this story told me that they didn’t want to like this woman!!

 Oooh. You made me feel sorry for Felicity and I soooo didn’t want to. After reading the Heart Trilogy it was great to see what made Felicity the cold and driven woman she became. At the same time I felt so sad for her. Audrina has written this in such a masterful way that you can’t pinpoint the exact moment when the sweet and innocent girl turns into a ruthless murderess. It reads well as a stand alone but if, like me, you have read the original trilogy first then the added dimensions of how the stories link together makes this an ingenious and very satisfying read. Consider this my first nag to you Audrina Lane to get the second part finished asap. I know I’m not the only one waiting with baited breath. Thank you for a great book.

9. When you’re not writing, working, looking after the kids what else do you enjoy doing?

I love music and dancing, so you’ll either find me at a concert or out with my OH who plays guitar in a local band. I also attend a monthly barefoot dance session which is 2 hours of an eclectic mix of music where everyone who attends just dances however they like. A sort of disco but without the alcohol or the blokes trying to chat you up! Its pure bliss and I wish it was more often than just monthly. Also I have 3 black Labradors so I enjoy taking them out for walks. I find most of my poem ideas come from this pursuit.

 10. Can you tell me what you’re working on now?

I must be a sucker for punishment as I have 3 different novels in progress. The first is ‘Bloodstained Heart. Part 3 – Redemption’ which is the final story in this trilogy and the culmination of Felicity’s story. It’s a dark romance and she’s a rather evil, bitch of a character.

My second is another spin off from the third book in the Heart Trilogy series. I started a short story about two of the secondary characters in Closer to the Heart for an anthology. However the anthology never reached fruition so one of my readers who read the short story urged me to turn it into a full length novel. Its called ‘Bonfire Heart’ and is the story of Sebastian and Lena’s life – it may not be a very happy tale as it touches on Dementia and Depression, but is set in my favourite part of the world – New Zealand.

Finally the third WIP is with my co-author Rita Ames and we’re part way through the 2nd book in our ‘Need for Speed’ racing romance series. This one is called ‘24Hrs to Heartbreak’ and centres around Dre and Charlie who meet at the Indy 500 race.

Continue reading “Spotlight of the month – Audrina Lane” →